Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Write on Wednesdays: A great one liner

I'm joining Ink, Paper, Pen for Write on Wednesdays!

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 13 - A Great One Liner...This week you need to come up with one good line to describe a part of your day. It can be 'real life' or fiction. But it must tell us 'who did what'. It has to be an amazing line, like a tiny little paper plane that must travel a big distance (figuratively speaking) with only a few folds ... Every word in that line must earn its place, or be cut as excess baggage. Let's get thinking about each sentence as though every word counts, like working one group of muscles to show how much weight they can carry.

Oh What a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts!

The soft lap of waves on sand, the whirring and chirping of small tropical insects, the moist dark skin of the young man climbing a coconut palm - machete gripped between his white teeth - oh, she could practically smell it as she emptied a can of coconut milk into her thai green curry with one hand while flipping ham & cheese toasties with the other.

Feedback welcome!


  1. Very descriptive, you have a whole story developing in just one sentence. I'm really stuck on my one-liner, not sure if I will make it to the party this week.

  2. Very descriptive, though a bit long for one sentence. But it's well-written, and brings a picture to my mind as I read it. I wonder... is the girl really waiting for the coconut milk, or for the man to come back down? ;-)

  3. You are so visual in your writing. I love reading words and seeing the scene perfectly. Awesome!

  4. Very visual, I could practically smell the coconuts and the curry! I wonder, is this based on real life? If it is, sounds like you were on a wonderful holiday. But why oh why were you making ham and cheese toasties?!

  5. hehehehe. It is based on real life.....this was me in my kitchen yesterday cooking dinner while making the kids lunch at the same I tipped the coconut milk into my curry I smelt that coconutty smell and was instantly transported! Well, actually I was wishing I would be instantly transported. I could do with some sun and sand (and some nubile coconut pickers!)

  6. Lovely use of the senses to transport us all to another place. Smell is such a powerful thing, oh to be lazing on a beach in Thailand! There is fun and daydreaming and a little bit of luxury in this sentence. I hope you enjoyed WoW!

    By the way, I love the saying in your sidebar "We used to want it all..." It's great

    Gill x

  7. Very funny. It's like an ad pitch: it's pithy and has sass, probably like the lady who wrote it?
    PS I have a husband called Bruce. He's probably about as ferocious as your goldfish. ;)

  8. Love the smells. And you have an amazing header!

  9. Thanks V! My header is based on the 'Eloise' books :)


Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you taking the time xxx

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