Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Not So Wonderful Weekends....

I really look forward to the weekends.  I work during the week so the weekend is my time to relax and spend some real quality time with the kids.  I love planning things for us to do and having at least one family day out on the weekend.  And the kids really look forward to it too.
The only person who doesn't look forward to it is the Rock God.  For some reason, once it hits the weekend, the Rock God falls into a pit of despair.  He mopes around the house.  He shouts at the kids.  He gets niggly about things.  We end up arguing over the kids / the housework / life, the universe and everything.  If there is a visit to IKEA planned, I just know its going to end up with both of us sulking for the next 6 hours messy.

Sometimes it gets so bad I end up just taking the kids out for a day on my own because it seems like the path of least resistance.

But why does this happen?  Why are the weekends such a high for me and such a downer for him?  Is this normal or is it just us? These are questions I do not have answers for.

I am tempted to put it down to 'Restless Lion Disorder'.....during the week the Rock God works hard with lots of early morning starts and then when he gets home its the normal weekly routine of baths, dinner, homework, dishes, putting the kids to bed and finally collapsing on the lounge in front of the TV knowing you have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow.

But the weekends throw all that into disarray.  There are no early starts, there is no planned routine and there are two whole days to fill with things to do.  Without his routine, the Rock God gets bored.  He wanders around the house looking for something to do and then starts noticing the housework that hasn't been done and gets shitty about it.  He sits down infront of the TV and the kids are running around playing and yelling (as kids do) and he gets shitty about it.  We go for a drive, the kids are arguing in the car and he gets shitty about it.  You get my drift.
Then I thought well maybe its 'Cute Cubs Overload Disorder'.....during the week the Rock God leaves for work long before the kids get up.  Generally we all get home from work/school at around the same time.  I will make the kids a snack, talk about their day and spend some time with them before running them around to Scouts or sport or starting dinner.  Lately, I've been letting at least one of them hinder help me in the kitchen while I cook dinner for special one-on-one time.

But when the Rock God gets home after a long day at work, he lies on the couch and falls asleep for a couple of hours until its time for the boys to have their bath while I make dinner.  A couple of nights a week we play UNO with the boys after dinner and then its bedtime.   Quality 'Rock God' time spent with the boys = maybe 2 hours a day.
But on the weekend, the kids are there from the minute he gets up.  There is no escape.  There is no solitude and there is definitely no quiet.  The kids want their fun weekend to start and they want it to start now!  The questions/demands/and dobbing start early..... 'what are we doing today?'  'what's for breakfast?'  'where is my Nerf gun?' 'XYZ hit me'.  The cacaphony of 'Mum, mum, mum' starts and does not stop for two days.  But on the weekends its 'Dad, dad, dad' too.
Finally, I considered maybe it was 'Lonely Lion Cub Disorder'.  The Rock God had a very different upbringing from mine.  I grew up in the country and our weekends were full of fun things to do.  Dad would take us out to the bush to cut firewood or pick wildflowers, or take us for long drives, or spend the day at the beach.  We went on lots of holidays.  We were always doing something even if it was just my brothers and sisters riding bikes around the farm.

But the Rock God didn't grow up that way.  The Rock God's family didn't go on holidays.  The Rock God's family did not do activities on weekends.  The Rock God spent zero quality time with his father during the week or on weekends.  The Rock God spent most of his time inside infront of the TV or having to entertain himself.  By the time the Rock God was a teenager he spent most of his time in his room learning to play the guitar.
In many ways, the Rock God doesn't know how to be an involved parent because he didn't have an involved parent himself.  Its sad really.  But it makes me even more determined to make sure our kids don't grow up the same way.

In the end I'm not sure whether its 'Restless Lion Disorder', 'Cute Cubs Overload Disorder' or 'Lonely Lion Cub Disorder' that makes the Rock God go into a meltdown on the weekends.  I'm not sure what causes it and I don't know how to change it, so I guess I will just to have to lump it live with it.

Secretly, I'm beginning to wonder if the biggest culprit isn't just 'Grumpy Bastard Disorder'!

How about you?  Are your weekends blissful or bedlam?  Do you argue or niggle with your significant other more on the weekends than during the week?  What do you put it down to?


  1. hahahahahahaha!


    And I'm sorry, but so bloody true!

    Maybe it's a little from column A, B, and C?

    Sad that his parents weren't the involved ones, as weekends are what I spend all week waiting for, that quality time, y'know?


  2. @Cherie @ 'a baby called Max'It is sad about his childhood but you would think that would make it more important to change it up a bit now....oh well, I will just have to keep dragging him around with us kicking and screaming haha

  3. Love this post! I spend most of the weekends solo parenting because the Geege works, so we don't have this issue (phew!). I hope the grumpy bugger gets off his butt this weekend and gives you a hand or you may develop 'crazed lioness syndrome' which wouldn't be pretty! Thanks for the giggle x

  4. Mm... The whole work/life balance is up in the air a bit isn't it? I've got my eye on a shorter working week by going part-time. I can't afford it, but I could get by okay. I think everyone is working their way (me included) to an early grave...

  5. What an awesome post! Laughed. Out. Loud!

    I have a grumpy husband on the weekends too - but mine displays his grumpiness by charging around the house getting it tidy. I need not complain about that!

    Things have become better now that he takes the two big ones to swimming lessons at 8am. I cook a big eggy breakfast for when they come home from the pool.

    Mr Cool needs some structure, he just doesn't know it. I also begin talking about the weekend on... um... Tuesdays! This gives him lots of notice and time to gear himself up. I too was raised being out and about and on holidays. Mr Cool was raised in a house that looks like an art gallery {with $2 shop art}. The main goal of his weekends were to get things more clean... Sad sad sad.

    Stick with it, you are showing your kids the world. What a blessing.

  6. Well written and illustrated post! I think I can be a little like Rock God on the weekends. My tolerance and energy levels are well and truly spent and CrashHubby steps in and takes over.


Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you taking the time xxx

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