Friday, October 28, 2011

Write on Wednesday: I thought I saw...

I'm joining Ink, Paper, Pen for Write on Wednesdays!  I'm a bit late this week, its already Friday.....

Write On Wednesdays Exercise 20 Write the words " I thought I saw" at the top of your page. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Write the first words that come into your head after the prompt. Don't take you pen off the page (or fingers off the keyboard). Stop only when the buzzer rings! Do this exercise over and over if you wish. Write beyond 5 minutes if you like, you can link it up as an extra post.
I thought I saw him on the train, in the mall, at the beach, walking through a crowd.  I thought I saw him everywhere back then.  They always looked like him, long and lean with dark hair that hung in its own peculiar way, lanky and spiky as if Adam Ant and Billy Idol had gone to the same hairdresser. I never realized so many people had that kind of hair.  I would see him in the distance, from the back, and my eyes would pop open.  I couldn’t think about anything or anyone until I had walked faster and caught up alongside to see who this was.

I don’t know why I allowed myself to search them out.  I knew, deep down, it wasn't going to be him.  But sometimes they would give me such a shock and I just had to know. It was always a disappointment. There was only one thing about them that looked the same – their hair from the back – their faces were not like his, their eyes were not like his and they didn’t smile like him either.  He had a great smile.

Up until last week, it had been a long time since I thought I saw him.  Time has moved on, there have been weddings and kids and divorces, life has been busy.  But last week I thought I saw him again.  The same lanky limbs, the same dark hair.  I was waiting on the platform and, out of curiosity, deliberately shifted to see his face.  I was surprised, this one looked a lot like him.

I stood on the platform and stared.  Time stood still.  I realized, with a jolt, that time had been standing still for nearly 20 years.  This stranger on the platform looked like the memory of someone I knew a long time ago. One stupid decision to ride on the back of a motorbike means my first love will always be 20 years old to me.  


  1. Wow - this is amazing! I have chills from head to toe.

    Your use of words is superb. Phew - you must need a cup of herbal tea and some fresh air now - or is that just me?

  2. lol B. I've had a bit of a cry and made a cup of tea. Feel better now. I didn't realise how much this would upset me today. Its been a long time since I've thought about it.

  3. Whoa, Elois - I've got completely cold.

    Reading this made it worthwhile still being awake at 5am

    I just want to give you a hug!

  4. So sad, so true - I'm sure the loss never goes away completely. beautifully written.

  5. Wow, yes - I had goosebumps and felt the emotion too.
    I like that you didn't give it away too early.

  6. Wow Eloise. This just brought back the memory of a past love and the realisation of how much a special person can remain in your heart forever xx Cyn

  7. This is a good post. Well written :)

  8. I literally have goosebumps! I know that feeling of seeing the same person over and over even though it's just not possible. The first line had me thinking of Dr Seuss, but the smile soon dropped away because this piece has such a sadness about it. Well done!

  9. Very well written and full of emotion. Beautiful way to dive completely into your writing. Awesome job!

  10. Wow, really haunting Eloise. The last line is so powerful.

  11. Wow an amazing story so well written I have a saying on my blog.....You know you love them, when you see them in crowds their not even in. Come for a laugh and see my Halloween photos if you get a chance cheer you up. Have a great day my friend.

    Always Wendy

  12. Beautiful. I had goosebumps. How sad for you. A well written piece with a powerful closing line. Very heartfelt and heartbreaking to read.


Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you taking the time xxx

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...