Things I Know: About boys...

I am the very proud mother of four little boys, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3.

Before I had boys of my own I didn't really know much about them....I had 2 sisters very close in age to me and spent all my time with them.  My 2 brothers were much younger than me (the youngest one was 1 year old when I moved out of home) so I didn't spend that much time with them growing up.  I knew they liked to kick balls around a lot and their shoes really stank but that's about it.

And then I had 4 of my own.  BIG learning curve :)

Here are some Things I Know about having boys........

To a boy, a stick is never just a stick.  A stick is a sword, a light-saber, Harry Potter's wand, a cricket bat and golf club, a fishing rod, a whip and the horse and just about anything else you can think of.  A stick is the most inexpensive toy you can find!

To a boy, there is not a toilet big enough in the entire world to aim in without splashing anything else.  I suppose it is quite a splashy business (compared to girls) but does it have to end up on the walls, the floor, the basket of toilet rolls nearby, your pants and shoes and anything else within a 2 metre radius????

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To a boy, every yellow car is Bumblebee from the Transformers.  Even the smallest, most beat-up little yellow hatchback is still Bumblebee.  There is no point arguing, that's just the way it is.

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To a boy, POO is the funniest word out.  Closely followed by FART.  Any sentence with either POO or FART in it is bound to cause hysterical laughter.  A sentence with both POO and FART in it together will probably end up with someone pissing their pants.  The only thing funnier than saying FART is actually FARTING itself.

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To a boy, everything is a competition.  Boys don't play to 'have fun working with the team' ohhh nooo, they play to win and if they don't win, all hell breaks loose.   Everything is a competition in our house.....

'first to get dressed is the winner'
'first one up the stairs is the winner'
'first one to eat their hotdog is the winner',
'first one to the car is the winner',
'first one to the swings is the winner'
and so on and so on.

Sometimes I can use this competitive streak to my advantage 'first one to pick up the toys is the winner' hahahaha *insert evil laugh here* but more often than not, the competitive streak just means I end up with 3 out of 4 crying because they are the losers....*sigh*.  This is known as a 'no win' situation.

Boys start training very early to become men, particularly when it comes to domestic blindness.  They lose everything and can find nothing.  Socks, shoes, hats, jackets, lunch boxes, drink bottles, toys, school notes, TV remotes, cups, books, the list is endless.  Never allow boys to take toys in the car or to a playground, they will lose their toy within 15 minutes (or leave it at Maccas) and spend the  next 2 hours crying about it.

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To a boy, puddles must be jumped in.  The muddier the better.

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To a boy, it is important to RUN everywhere....down hills, on the footpath (the busier the road the better just to keep mum on her toes), in supermarkets, up escalators......however, this rule DOES NOT apply if Mum is in a hurry.  If Mum is in a hurry, you must drag your feet along as slowly as possible and then proceed to have some kind of spac attack before getting into the car.

To a boy, there is nothing more fascinating in this world than dinosaurs.  By the age of 3 they will be able to identify and name at least 12 dinosaurs by sight.  They might not be able to say 'spaghetti' properly but 'Ankylosaurus' is a breeze.  As a mother of boys, it is extremely important that you make sure you can identify them properly if you want to avoid the withering looks from 4 small boys when you mix up a Brontosaurus and Diplodocus.

To a boy, there is nothing worse than hearing their mother sing.  However, if you do a funny dance with it, that's okay.  Just don't do it in public.

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and finally, to a boy, their mother is the most important woman in the world and they secretly love the kisses and hugs she smothers them with....even if they pretend to squirm :)